Murphy's Law of Bumming: A Tale of Mishaps, Secret Plans,and True Love
by Feline Alchemist
Summary: Vince has a Valentine's surprise for Howard, Howard has one for Vince, and somewhere in the mix Fossil and Bainbridge get up to some frisky business. Written for a Valentine's prompt on the BSH


Holidays at the Zooniverse were quite the spectacle.

Well, as much of a spectacle as can be made on such a budget as theirs.

When Halloween rolled around each year, Vince would ask all the animals what they wanted to be for a day, and then he'd retire to the keeper's hut for hours until he'd created by hand the most dashing and up-to-style animal outfits in all of England. He'd even make himself and Howard "couples costumes", much to Howard's annoyance, and they'd go round giving treats to the animals and ding-dong-ditching Fossil's office. Christmas at the Zooniverse was actually a nice affair, given the norm of the place. Vince would string up fairy lights everywhere he could manage when Bainbridge wasn't there to stop him, and passed out glittery Santa hats to all the animals who would wear them. Fossil would don a blood-curdlingly skimpy 'Santa's little helper' outfit and hit on Bainbridge when he _was_ there, and Howard would sit out on a bench by himself, late at night, and play melancholy tunes from his trumpet as the first puffs of snow began to softly coat the Zooniverse. New Year's found Fossil doing body shots of tequila off of himself in his office while narrating the events in excruciating detail over the intercom, and Vince and Howard would climb atop the roof of the keeper's hut with a blanket big enough for two and watch the odd firework that tinged the sky at midnight, turning their resolutions into crimps.

But of all the zany-antic-filled holidays at the Zooniverse, Valentine's Day had to be the most... interesting, for lack of a better word. Valentine's Day always has a sad sort of aura clinging to it, which permeates the zoo and makes things go all funhouse mirror. Every year the animals are all in a tizzy, some lamenting their loneliness and lack of a mate, some very _loudly_celebrating the fact that they do, in fact, have a mate, and others -like the ever-bitter Jack Cooper- sit in their enclosures and bemoan the entire holiday and everything to do with it.

The conditions were no different on the crisp morning before Valentine's where our story begins, a fidgety and nervous Vince Noir heading away from the keepers hut with a cloth satchel slung over his shoulder.

He'd been planning this for weeks, after he finally came up with the best way to do it. Thing is, he couldn't let Howard see him doing it or he'd ruin the whole plan! He had to lay low around the zoo for the day, until everything was arranged. Ducking behind a rather tall shrub as some keepers walked past, he slunk into the llama enclosure and set to work. After exchanging a brief hello with Trudy and Chester, checking in on how the former's perm was doing, he pulled a blank white notepad and felt pen out of the satchel. He wrote some words down on the page and set it aside, taking out a neon blue Polaroid camera from the bag. Leroy had helped him find a great deal on it- those two blokes at the record kiosk were very understanding of his plight -after he'd explained what he needed it for. He picked up the notepad and held the camera at arm's length, pointing at himself and the words on the pad. He gave the camera a shy grin and snapped a photo, then put everything back in the satchel and snuck back out, giving the llamas a wink and a finger pressed to his lips as he left.

...

Howard awoke that morning with a dull pain in his lower back. He sat up and winced, cursing the fact that the thin fabric of his and Vince's sleeping bags was all that made him able to say that Howard Moon does _not_ sleep on the floor. He heavily flopped his arm down over Vince's chest to wake him and get them both ready for work. Only, his arm hit solid wood floor and he winced again. Strange... Where could Vince be this early in the morning, up before Howard? He stifled a yawn with the back of his hand and thought. Thinking he might've been using the toilet he craned to look behind him and caught sight of the calendar.

Of course.

Today was the day before Valentine's Day, Vince was probably being drooled on by a gaggle of sparkly women somewhere. While it's true that no one wants to go to a run-down zoo on the most romantic weekend of the year, they still had jobs to uphold! He was going to get quite the stern talking-to when he came back, yes sir. Howard rose to his feet and slowly made himself a cup of tea, then sank into the sofa and sighed. This happened every year, Vince would get pulled away by groups of determined admirers and leave Howard all alone to stare at the paper cut-out hearts plastered on all the walls and windows of the zoo and try not to feel so empty inside. He knew it wasn't entirely Vince's fault, he _was_ the most beautiful person most people had ever seen, and Howard was no exception. People were bound to want his attention, and the little man hadn't quite figured out how to deal with so much of it.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Despite all of Vince's "fans", he had to do it. Howard Moon is a Man of Action, damn it, and he will _not_ be a coward about this. Not this time.

He just hoped beyond hope that Vince wouldn't laugh at him.

Setting his tea down on the small end table he noticed a folded piece of paper. He opened it and discovered a note from Vince, which read:

_Hiya Howard_

Went out for sum of them candyy harts I like. The ones wiv the love-sap wurds on em? They're well tasty. Be back much later, hav to find the right ones.

Vince xxx

Huh. So he was just out buying sweets? He covered his face with his hands and smiled despite himself. He felt guilty for assuming he was off flirting, though it was the reasonable assumption. But he _wasn't_ out flirting! Howard hopped up and pulled on his uniform jacket, walking out the door broom in hand with a little more spring to his step than he's had in years.

He could forgive him his absence from work for one day. Howard Moon had a chance.

...

Vince slipped out through the doors of the jungle room and checked that the coast was clear before heading towards Fossil's office. Right around this time Fossil liked to go bug Naboo about going to lunch with him, and Vince needed to go in and take his next photo and be gone before he returned. He'd already taken several at his set locations around the zoo and this one was the last one to be taken. So far he'd been sly and hadn't been seen, by Howard or anyone else, and creeping through the door he chuckled to himself. _No sign of Fossil. Genius! I should become a glam-rock ninja. The sneakiest trendy in all of England, imagine that!_

He took out his supplies and wrote a phrase down, took a photo in front of Fossil's desk, and nearly dropped the camera as the doorknob rattled. He barely stifled a squeak of surprise and managed to clamber under the desk clutching his bag, just in time to hear Fossil enter the room. _What's he doing back so soon?_ He had no idea how he was going to explain being under Fossil's desk if he was found. _Oh just shinin' your floorboards, sir! Figured I could add some more gum under here and make a mural...? Ew, speakin' of which.._ He ducked his head and scooted down a bit lower. He was not going to have to cut grimy lumps out of his hair.

"What a great day of the year huh sweetness?" His voice was getting closer, and Vince groaned inwardly. It certainly was _not_rock and roll to hide in your boss's furniture for a secret Valentine's plan.

"Hardly. If I wanted to be affronted by tacky pink decorations and sappy nonsense I'd read your diary."

_Was that... Bainbridge? Shit!_ Fossil would be a tad annoyed, but mostly amused to find Vince under there, and after a few innuendos would let Vince be on his merry way, scott free. But Bainbridge, Vince was certain, would not be so lenient. Unless they were his own, Bainbridge did not tolerate shenanigans of any kind. He almost thumped his head against the desk wall in defeat but thought better of it, instead discovering a crack in the wood through which he could see the two men in the room.

He settled in and thought he might as well tack on espionage to his list of special occasion titles, gettin' the scoop on whatever it was Fossil and Bainbridge talk about. Vince's guess? Nothing worth his time. His eyebrows disagreed, however, as they shot up his forehead in surprise and confusion as they continued on.

"I didn't think you'd laugh when I read to you from it.. Anyway! You can't fool me Dixie, you've got that special twinkle in your mustache that only sparkles once a year! Well, once a year _and_ on the anniversary of the stock market crash..."

Bainbridge bristled at the nickname and scoffed, defensively bringing his hands to his hips. "Preposterous. This sorry excuse for a corporate cash cow and opportunity to slag off work means nothing to me." Vince was not convinced. _Was he.. Blushing? Bainbridge?!_ Now Vince wouldn't have escaped from under the desk if Jagger himself opened a bunker door from under him to crawl through.

"I'm not so su-re," Fossil sing-songed back at him, slowly closing the distance between himself and Bainbridge. They were at a slight angle, enough for Vince to see a third of Bainbridge's face in addition to Fossil's backside. Bainbridge was trying to look cold and uncaring but his face was still tinged a rose-pink color and he didn't back away from the advancing American. Vince's eyes bugged out of his head as Fossil leaned in-

"Stop." _Aha! Can't believe what that looked like, I really thought-_ "Someone could see." He threw pointed looks at the cracked blinds covering the windows in the room, then met Fossil's eyes with a fiery look of what could only be described (unbelievably) as controlled passion. Taking that as a sort of go-ahead signal Fossil darted around the room and hastily yanked all the blinds tightly closed, Vince nearly having a heart attack as he came dangerously near his hiding spot. Fossil eagerly returned to his position nearly touching Bainbridge and, with a small nod, Fossil leaned in and kissed him sweetly. If Vince's eyebrows thought they couldn't go any higher, they were about to apply for a tiny pilot's license because Bainbridge was kissing him back just as tenderly. _This is either the strangest fucking wank dream I've ever had or Howard was right, all that hair dye seeped into me brain and killed me._ It was like a mustachioed train wreck; try as he might Vince couldn't look away.

Suddenly Bainbridge softly broke off the kiss and Fossil whined. Vince shuddered. "What's wrong cupcake? No one's gonna come in here, door's locked up tighter than a nun's pencil case!" He pawed restlessly at Bainbridge's chest and the older man grabbed a hold of his hands to still him.

"No, you imbecile, no I, I've actually got a- er, a token for you." He looked down at their joined hands on his chest and dropped them, his face flushing again. He bent and retrieved a briefcase from where he must have set it on the ground when he walked in. Vince didn't catch what was said next, however.

Sitting on the floor, nearly tucked under the briefcase Bainbridge had just set back down empty, was the photo Vince had come in there to take in the first place. _Fuck. FUCK! Bloody fucking FUCK!_ Thankfully the two lovebirds were too lost in each other's attention to notice, but now Vince had to make sure he picked up that photograph after they finally leave and get out of there himself. Any chance the universe might've granted him for a premature escape would be turned down. He had to make sure he collected the photo without getting caught, he'd come this far already and it wasn't worth the trauma of playing Peeping-Tom to _those two_ to leave without it.

_Nice one Noir, you fucking titbox._ His attention was once again pulled -kicking and screaming- to the pair in front of him, by a sniffle. Bainbridge was holding in front of him a bouquet of pink roses, tied beautifully with a baby-blue ribbon. Fossil was reading the card aloud and actually _tearing up_, "For my dearest Robert, my insufferable idiot. Y-Yours with deepest affection, Dixon." Bainbridge was darting his eyes everywhere around the room but at Fossil, the man himself was wiping snot up his arm and starting to blubber, and Vince's jaw hit the floor.

"D-Dixie I- You-" He sniffed hard and Bainbridge cut in.

"Stop your sniveling, you already look like a chubby infant, you don't need to go sounding like one too." He gave the other man a soft smile despite the bite in his words and Fossil laughed breathily. He gently took the roses from Bainbridge, smelled them briefly, then set them down on a side table. He then grabbed the other man roughly by the lapels, sending Bainbridge's own eyebrows skyward.

Fossil's voice was deep and gravelly, a sound which Vince had never heard from his boss's mouth and one which made him want to clean out his ear canals with gravel and vinegar. "You know how it turns me on when you're nice to me. _Now pound me into that desk like a bag of wet pancakes."_

Vince choked on his own spit.

A low, feral growl escaped Bainbridge's throat and he pounced on Fossil, taking control.  
The first bump against the desk, accompanied by moans and colorful expletives and commands he couldn't even picture, had Vince praying with all his heart (and fingers in both ears) that Bowie would commit a mercy killing and strike him dead right then and there.

...

It had been a good two hours since Howard awoke to find Vince's note and he was a bit worried. What could be taking him so long? Though Vince was never one to gracefully navigate public transport… _Stupid! I should've gone to find him first thing! He's probably halfway to France panicking in the back of a cab because the driver's assuring him that "This the best way back to American's animal facility". Or he got caught in his reflection outside Topshop and was lured in by his spangle-booted feet._Either way Howard was left to complete the day's responsibilities by himself, which he admitted made him at least a little miffed with the younger man. _Now hang on_ he thought, _perhaps I can use his absence as a unique opportunity!_

He clapped his hands together and rubbed them, an excited grin spreading across his face. He quickly topped off the food bins for the remaining animals and stowed his broom away, setting a bee-line course for Naboo's kiosk. Howard Moon was taking action.

...

"Are you serious?" Naboo lisps.

"Yes! Come on, I've spilled my heart's plan to you, will you help me or not?" The two were sat across from each other inside the shaman's kiosk, he with a hookah nozzle in hand and Howard wringing his in his lap.

"A picnic though, really? With candles and tacky tablecloth and all?" He managed to look bored, perplexed, and a tad condescending all at once.

_"Romantic dinner spread,_ and yes. But my cloth will be a proud olive, not tacky." Naboo did not look convinced. "Look," Howard scrubbed a hand across his face, "The time is right this year, I can feel it, but I don't exactly have experience in this sort of thing." His voice was quiet, almost melancholy. "I have to do it now, I can't wait any longer suspended in doubt. I have to know if Vince… I just need a little help, Naboolio. Will you help me?"

Vince must have taught Howard a thing or two about getting what you want with your eyes, because while Howard's were small they sure were packing a punch, like pin pricks. He still thought Howard was a ballbag, but he really didn't want to make him even more pathetically upset than he already was. It'd feel like kicking a lanky, mustachioed puppy, and who needed that on their conscience? The shaman sighed. "What do you need?"

Howard's face immediately brightened. "You're a good man, Naboo!"

"Yeah yeah whatever, be quick and spit it out before I change my mind." A slight twinge of a smile, almost imperceptible.

"Right. I need the perfect dessert for this evening, it has to be sickeningly sweet like Vince likes and just wow him. I have the main course covered well enough, but the frilly sparkly part of the meal has to be perfect."

The slap of Naboo's palm connecting with his own forehead was audible in the small room. "I'm a bloody shaman from another planet and you want a cooking lesson?"

"No, not at all! Have you seen me try and bake a soufflé?" He held up his rough, rather large hands. "I'm a shit chef."

Naboo stared at him.

"I need you to make them for me!"

He groaned.

...

Naboo ended up phoning a friend to run to the local Shamansbury's for him and pick Howard up some pre-made fancy desserts. Howard left the kiosk with a manic grin and a grateful "Cheers Naboo, you're a peach!" and rushed back to the keeper's hut with the sweets in hand.

Checking that everything else was set up where he'd left it, hidden from view so Howard could surprise Vince when he got back, Howard sat down on the settee and examined the treats Naboo had procured for him. They were primarily a sparkling white color, with a fluffy texture and a syrup glaze on top that alternated between pink and purple in the light.

They certainly _looked_ like just the kind of thing Vince would love, but ever-cautious and thorough, Howard had to taste for himself. He opened one of the little plastic boxes where the two tarts were settled and took a small bite out of the back of one, spreading cream over it to disguise the chunk missing. He involuntarily let out a moan at the flavor, it was so sweet and smooth and delectable he felt as though he were tasting a Miles Davis trumpet solo. With a flavor like that he couldn't just have one bite! He quickly took two more small bites and closed it up again before he devoured it completely. _If Vince doesn't absolutely love it, I'll do the next porpoise race starkers._ He'd have to remember to give Naboo a noble handshake later if all went well, he'd really delivered.

He put the desserts with the rest of the spread and noted the time. Vince had been gone for three hours now, not even so much as a text from him. Howard's plan would be a failure- perfect dessert or no -if Vince was out all night hunting down cheap candy! He'd give him another hour before he went out looking for him, he figured someone would tell him the time sooner or later and he'd high-tail it back to the zoo before dark.

He popped into the bathroom for a wee and screamed in a rather undignified manner when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He clambered out of the bathroom, out of the keeper's hut, and straight for Naboo's kiosk, his bladder be damned.

Naboo didn't look surprised in the slightest as Howard nearly tore down the door bursting into the inner dwelling of the kiosk.

"What on _Earth_ have you done to me?!" Howard shrieked, clutching handfuls of his decidedly _different_ hair.

Naboo took a long sip of his tea before responding quite calmly, "I haven't done anything."

"Oh yeah? _This_ is not nothing, sir! This is-"

"Ridiculous? Yeah, I can see that just fine from here." Howard's gaze was murderous.

"What the _fuck_ did you do? And how do I _un_do it?" Naboo thought for a moment and then giggled slightly. "What? What is it?"

"Me mate must've picked up the wrong cakes for you, must've made your hair go all weird. But that wouldn't happen unless you'd eaten some already."

Howard looked abashed and slumped his broad shoulders a bit. "Well… I may have taste-tested it. You know, to make sure Vince would like it!"

The shaman raised an eyebrow. "Looks like you did more than taste it, mate."

"Just- Tell me how to get it back to how it was!" Howard's voice was almost a whine, and he scrambled for a mirror, worryingly picking at his hair when he found one.

"I dunno how to change it back." Howard squawked and dropped the mirror. "Oi! Watch it! I know it ain't permanent though. I know what kind of tart it is now, and there's no reverse spell, but it'll fade away eventually."

Howard was still less than pleased. "Alright.. But I still have to have dinner with Vince looking like this!" He gestured helplessly. Naboo just shrugged. Looking uneasy and more than a little bit crestfallen Howard gave Naboo a parting thank you and made to leave.

"Howard?" Naboo called after him when he was almost out the door. He turned round and gave him a questioning look.

"Vince is gonna love it. All of it." Howard closed his eyes and turned back around, walking out the door. Naboo could swear he saw a hopeful smile tug at his face as he left.

The tiny shaman smiled to himself. He really did hope it went well for those two. It was about time somebody made a move.

Later, when talking with Bollo about the ordeal, the ape will ask if he did it on purpose, gave Howard the tart that turned his hair a funny color.

Naboo will get that lazy smile on his face and a warm light in his eyes and answer, "Yeah."

...

Vince made his way to the keeper's hut on wobbly legs. His hair was a mess, all scrunched in the back, and he clung to the strap of the bag over his shoulder with a white-knuckled death grip. The animals who's enclosures he passed by on the way asked where he'd been all day, but he said nothing, and only stared ahead. Finally stumbling through the door he let out a shaky breath and blinked several times. _Two hours.. How.. How did they..? The entire time.._

By the time Fossil and Bainbridge were spent and left the room hand in hand, the desk had been pushed a good six inches farther across the room and the windows beneath the blinds were fogged up. When he finally got his legs to work he quickly retrieved the fallen photograph and got the fuck out of there. Vince was certain he wouldn't be able to so much as look at Fossil for about a month without hearing Bainbridge calling out _"Robert you're so tight! Put your stomach into it- yes! YES! YE-"_

Vince slapped himself. Hard.

_I'm gonna have nightmares till I'm ninety and tasting colors. Howard T.J. Moon you'd better love me after this..._ He couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

Luckily he'd thought ahead enough to stop off into the desolate reptile room to assemble the photos he'd taken that day into the polished gift for Howard. He pulled it out of his bag and dropped the bag on the sofa when he heard a rustling on the roof. _What on earth..?_ Out the window he saw Howard descending a ladder. He walked in through the back door and jumped when he saw Vince.

"Vince! You're back! Took you bloody long enough, eh?" He was fidgety, and pulling on the bobbles of- hang on, was that his hat? What's Howard wearing his knitted electro winter cap for? "Get those sweets you were looking for?" Howard continued.

"What?" Two hours of listening to _both_ his bosses violently fornicating about a foot from his head had completely fried his brain. "Oh- Er, no, no I didn't."

"But you left a note-" Howard's eyebrows huddled together in confusion.

"Bit of a white lie, that." He grinned. "I was actually here the whole time!"

"Doing what?"

Vince gulped and smoothed down his mess of hair. He looked down at the box in his hands and then met Howard's eyes. "Making this for you. I need to tell you something."

Howard looked terrified. Vince laughed breathlessly. "Don't be worried, jazzman, just open it." He guided Howard to sit next to him on the settee and nudged him to open it. He held Vince's gaze before turning his attention to the package and carefully tearing the paper- a warm shade of umber, Howard was pleased to notice. The paper gave way to a smallish box, and he gently removed the lid. Inside, on a tiny cushion, sat a small book, no bigger than a CD case, with the words 'Howard + Vince' written on the cover in glitter. He opened it to the first page, where a photo was glued down, nothing else on the page. In the photograph Vince was standing just inside the front gates of the zoo, and he was holding a small sign. The sign read 'This is where you told me you needed me here with you.' Howard looked up at him, a question burning the tip of his tongue.

"Keep going." He urged him.

Howard turned the page and found another photograph, alone on the page like before. In this one Vince was standing in Fossil's office, in front of the desk. Again he held a piece of paper up, this one saying 'This is where you defended me to Fossil and threatened to quit if he didn't let me work here too.' Vince remembered it fondly, how firm and unmoving Howard had been in his insistence that Vince be allowed by his side. He'd never been more proud of him, and he hugged him for longer than mates usually do after he'd been given the job. Howard was smiling now, lost in the memory of it too. He turned the page again. This time Vince was in the chameleon boudoir, holding the paper in one hand and a baby chameleon in the other. The paper read 'This is where we taught the baby chameleons to look like stars and shag carpet to make their mums cross and we laughed till we cried.' Howard chuckled, remembering how Vince had imitated a very angry and very slow mother chameleon attempting to scold Howard, his face pulled into an exaggerated shape.

He turned the page again to find a photo of Vince in the llama enclosure. The sign read 'This is where we made our first crimp, and we haven't stopped since.' Howard leaned a little closer towards Vince and recited, "Calm a llama down.."

"Calm a llama deep down.." Vince answered in kind, giving Howard a nervous smile. Howard didn't want to look away from Vince, but he nudged him to keep going. Howard turned the page. In this one Vince was just outside the zoo's gates, holding the sign high above his head and looking away from the camera, in towards what lay beyond the gate. It read, 'Here is where we built our lives together..." He flipped to the next page. Same pose and location, different words. 'Had so many incredible adventures...' He flipped the page again, faster this time. In this one Vince is wearing his tundra-exploring outfit, and the sign reads, 'I guess I've known it all along,' Next page, Vince is back in his uniform and standing in front of the door to the public restroom at the zoo, the sign reads, 'but..' In the photo Vince is winking and Howard shoves him playfully against the cushions.

"You cheeky tit," he's smiling wider than Vince has seen in long time and he's wiping his eyes.

"Go on Howard, one more page."

Howard turns back to the book in his hands and turns to the last photograph. It was taken there in the keeper's hut, right in front of the wall opposite where Howard sat that very moment. In this photo Vince was looking down at what he'd written on the paper. He'd written, 'This is where I tell you..' Howard looks up to find Vince not sitting next to him like a moment ago but standing in front of him, exactly where he was standing in the last photo. In place of a paper sign he held a single red rose.

He looked Howard right in the eyes, right into his soul. "I love you."

He's holding his breath as Howard slowly stands, and places the photo book gently back on its cushion. His eyes are shining and he covers Vince's hands- still clutching the rose -with his own, and he laughs. He laughs and shakes his head, shaking a few tears loose. They roll over the mountain of cheek and into the widest grin Vince has ever seen on him.

"I love you too, Little Man." Vince chokes out a sob and then they're clinging to each other like they'll never let go. Vince knows for certain that he never will. They're both sniffling and holding each other tightly, Vince laughs breathily and pulls them down to sit on the sofa together, himself on Howard's lap with the taller man's arms wrapped around his waist, his own around Howard's neck.

They touched foreheads for a moment and took a moment to breath. "Now that's settled," Vince said cheekily, "I shall ask you the most pressing question of the evening. Why're you wearing my hat?" Howard's grin turned into a cringe.

"Ah, that.. Was hoping you wouldn't notice, actually.."

"Come on, out with it Small Eyes!" Vince giggled and slowly lifted off the knitted cap, Howard's hair tumbling out of it.

Vince's eyes widened impossibly large. "It's... _Pink!"_

"I know.."

"It's _actually_ pink! _Your_ hair! Pink! How the fuck did that happen?" His grin is threatening to split his face in two.

Howard smiled a bit in return._ Well, Naboo was right about that, Vince certainly loved his hair._ "Well it's kind of a long story, why don't I tell it on the roof."

"That has got to be one of the strangest things you've ever said to me," But he stood up, grabbing hold of Howard's hand and lacing their fingers together, letting him lead the way out the back door. They scaled the ladder one by one and Vince gasped at the sight.

The sun was just about done setting over the Zooniverse, tingeing all the buildings a golden orange. The moon was singing softly to himself overhead and casting a gentle light on the spread laid out before them. Howard had made his best quiche, and he'd bought Vince's favorite brand of biscuits. There was also a plate in the middle of the tablecloth piled high with bootlaces and flying saucers and haribo bears and sour worms, and two glasses of sweet red wine. The light from the sun and moon mingling and dancing off of the display made the whole scene sparkle, and Vince tightened his hold on Howard's hand.

"Howard it's beautiful.. Completely genius." He looked up at him with shining eyes and they shared a soft kiss. Howard's mustache was tickling him and Vince's mouth tasted a bit of tears, but it could not have been any more perfect. They broke apart, both of them breathless.

Vince ended the soft silence. "So why does your hair look like candy floss?" Howard laughed and kissed him again.

The two sat down to eat as Howard told Vince what had happened that day, and Vince in turn told Howard how _his_ day was spent, which had Howard spitting out a mouthful of perfectly good wine in surprise. "So it was the desserts eh?" Vince picked up one of the plastic boxes with the unbitten tart inside. "Turned your hair pink just like that?"

Howard nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. It's bloody ridiculous, and Naboo's a bit of a tit."

"I see.." Vince looked at Howard, gave him a cheeky grin, and popped the box open and took a big bite out of his out tart.

"Vince no! Your hair, it'll be ruined!"

Vince couldn't reply for a few moments, he was far too busy not to moan out loud over a ruddy dessert. _Oh sweet merciful Jagger I've died and gone to sugar heaven..._ He finally swallowed it down and sighed with content, closing his eyes. When he opened them again and smiled up at Howard, his hair had turned a light, powdery lavender. It actually looked ridiculous on him, which he was sure Vince knew before taking that bite. This comforted Howard. Vince was willing to ruin his prized attribute to make him feel not so alone.

"See? Not so bad now eh? Now we're a pair of gumdrop heads, the two of us. Together." He cozied up to Howard's side and leaned their heads together.

Howard inhaled deeply. He couldn't remember ever being this happy. What made it even better was knowing that he would get to be this happy for the rest of his life, with Vince by his side.

Just then a peircing wail split the night and made even the moon cringe.

_"OH DIXIIIIIEEEE !"_

Vince and Howard looked at each other and burst into a fit of cackles, tears rolling down their cheeks and their arms firmly wrapped around each other.

_No, holidays at the Zooniverse were never dull. _


End file.
